Once again a crazy inspiration I had got really popular on Twitter, I got a ton of reactions and people actually requested that I blog it and put them all together, so here we go!
(And to my cohort in crime, a special thanks and the promise of a really good chocolate cake for your contributions!)
Things you should never say to a naked man:
- “So….can I be honest with you?”
- “I thought it was just me, but apparently it IS really cold in here.”
- “Could you move to the right…you’re blocking the T.V.”
- “When you said you had a big one, I didn’t realize you were talking about your beer gut!”
- “And you woke me up for this?”
- “GOOD GOD! Put your clothes back on!”
- “Wow! You have a much better body than I did when I was a man.”
- “Go ahead, I’ll just nap until you’re done.”
- “Well, there goes that sexual fantasy!”
- “Yep, foreplay IS overrated.”
- “I’ve thought about it….yeah, let’s turn the lights OFF.”
- “Have you ever heard of Nair?”
- “So…where’s the rest of it?”
- “Don’t worry, everyone looks funny naked.”
- “Oh, so that’s why they call you Wee Willy!’
- “Bathroom…shower…that way..”
- “It’s okay, maybe you just need some more practice.”
- “But…does it still work?”
- “OH MY GOD! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”
- “Nah, never mind…what’s the point?”
- “I think they make condoms in smaller sizes.”
- “Well, at least this won’t take long!”
- “I didn’t know you went to the baitshop today.”
- “Good thing for you that you have such a great personality!”
- “Let me know when you’re done.”
- “Yeah, that was great honey…now, could you please hand me my vibrator?”
- “You know you’re brother was…”
- “So that’s what your ex-girlfriend was trying to warn me about!”
- “Can’t we just watch football?”
- “You know, maybe if you trimmed the hair just a little…”
- “WOW! What the hell did you do wrong in your last life?”
- “Great, I love optical illusions.”
- “GOOD GOD! Did you sue the doctor?”
- “Don’t worry, we can work around it!”
- “Gee…I am so sorry!”
- “Uhhhhhh…let’s just skip to the smokes.”
- “I guess those rumors about big feet AREN’T true.”
- “Did you ever see those ads for Enzyte?”
- “Hey, I’ve always loved a good treasure hunt!”
- “Give me a minute…I’ve got to find my magnifying glass.”
So, what are your favorites? Feel free to add them in the comments!
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